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If I Had A

from Blanco Suave by Blanco Suave

/

lyrics

you can't take away my power
i'm a powerful person , i know it
i show it in the way i walk the street
slow
confident
your sticks or stones
or compliments
thrown like bricks
hit my feet and shatter
oh did i hurt your feelings?
cos i won't smile back
see i don't owe you shit
i don't owe you jack
if you got your receipt
take your balls to target
and get ya money back

if i had a penis i'd do great things with it
build a pyramid and knock it down with my
paint the mona lisa sign my name with my
take a fiery piss on every kkk's yard

if i had a dick i'd do great things with it
leave women all alone
mind my own business
get a high paying job
never get pregnant
get a stupid haircut
and join the senate

how many times do i gotta prove
my skill set to be competent?
i'm tired of pissing contests
and i'm sick of being doubted
your masculinity's so fragile
if i think hard, i'll snap it
your manhood's so weak
if i stand tall, you're threatened
you keep beating your meat
i'll keep beating your checks
putting bread in my bank
while you're still laying in bed
i work hard i play hard
baby i'm erect
you wish you were me
cos i'm so goddamn blessed

if i had a penis i'd do great things with it
build a pyramid and knock it down with my
paint the mona lisa sign my name with my
take a fiery piss on every kkk's yard

if i had a dick i'd do great things with it
leave women all alone
mind my own business
get a high paying job
never get pregnant
get a stupid haircut
and join the senate

my dick so fat, got a wheelbarrow to pull it in
it's too heavy and i don't need back prob-e-lems
you ain't ready, but we're doing it in spite of that
fuck the man, fuck god, and fuck our president
if i had a dick i'd do great things with it
like a bat in my hands, smash the establishment
rain cum and brimstone on all the fascist
assholes with their stumpy lil tiki torches
beat the shit out of racist, xenophobic misogynists
scared of black power pussy, and muslim gynecologists
afraid of what they don't know, uh i'll give em all of it
uh i'll give em all of what i came here for
my metaphorical boner is bigger
than a thanksgiving dinner
you break bread, i break zippers
my lust for justice
got me harder than a cutlass
crown me the duchess
of big dick discussions
take your assumptions
crumple and dump em
you swing your thing
like it's worth half a million
i think you ain't
worth half a something
better
take a step back
and stay in ya lane son

if i had a dick i'd do great things with it
leave women all alone
mind my own business
get a high paying job
never get pregnant
get a stupid haircut
and join the senate

credits

from Blanco Suave, released January 17, 2019

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about

Blanco Suave Michigan

The brainchild of musicians Gretchen McKenzie (bass, vocals) and Luke Arquette (guitar).

Blanco Suave has expanded to include Patrick Booth on saxophone & Dawson McKenzie on drums. They've mutated into a genre-defying powerhouse of a band with lofi hip-hop, jazz, and pop influences.
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